I don’t know how many times have I been asked whether I cook or not (now that I am married), and then get crudely judged on my dislike for the same. But why?? It was earlier that the husband was the bread earner and the wife was the home maker but in today’s time both are equal, both are the bread earners, both face the same workload. Then why is it that, a woman is still the only home maker? Why is the responsibility not being shared equally here as well? We are in that era, where women are bold and beautiful. They are independent and strong enough to fend for themselves. Women of today don’t need their husbands to fill their tummies. Then why do husbands need women to fill theirs? Can’t men cook for themselves? If not, then at least share the responsibilities or either hire help to do the work. But no! And this is the hypocrisy in this country. Where on one side a woman is lauded for her achievements and her hard work and on the other side assumed that she is born with the capabilities of cooking and cleaning, and that the duty to cook and clean came along with her at birth itself.
A discussion on ‘Why do married women dislike cooking and other household chores?’ on Quora garnered many such thoughts.
The thought did raise a lot of eyebrows, but women across got to share their varied perspectives on this topic.
One such user, Sunayana Baid supported the discussion saying, ‘Still I see in many Indian home, even though both husband wife are earning but chores are done only by one party. Husband chills and relax on sofa after coming from work and wife gets in kitchen. Same apply to handling babies.’
Whereas another user, treated her own mother as a negative role, just because her mother stood against her husband opposing the thought of woman being bound to cook and do household chores, a thought that has been instilled in our minds from the very beginning. Even a 5 year old can tell you this.
According to her, ‘There are lot of girls of our generation who think cooking and doing house chores are uncool. What keep me avoiding thinking the same is a live example inside my family. My mother does not like cooking and doing house chores. Let me tell you, I always have witnessed small but unavoidable daily arguments between my parents only because of my mother’s strong disliking to cook. I took her as a negative role model and decided to try cooking and other stuffs with certain eagerness so that I don’t get frustrated easily.’
Another Quora user, Aneeta Babu N said, ‘I hate doing house hold work, and if i was a rich woman I would have outsourced the whole of the job to others. I am sure my lack of love for household work would raise a lot of eyebrows, but it’s not important to me. I think your attitude regarding your love for household work shouldn’t be too different either.’
Priyamwada Kaushal in fact, shared a good advice on this discussion. ‘It is because household chores are actually forced on many Indian women under the pretext of tradition and culture. You might be a lucky one who has not been. No, it is not a low level job until you’re in laws tell you to do more of it because it is the bahu’s job, or keep complaining about the quality of housekeeping after you have put the best effort you could or even when there are other competent people in the house. When both are working household work should ideally be shared equally.’
The point to understand here is that, there is absolutely nothing wrong in cooking or cleaning, as long as you and solely you decide to do it. This work should not be imposed on a woman by her in laws or anyone, just because she is a woman. It’s her body, it’s her life, and she gets to decide what she wants to do. And this goes for all, whether she is married or unmarried, working or not working. God didn’t create woman just for cleaning and sweeping your house, but for a better and a more soulful purpose. It’s high time that we change this mentality. And for all the men out there, it won’t hurt your butt, if you could move and help out a little!