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| May (First) 2013 |
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| DELHI PRESS MAGAZINES : WOMAN'S ERA |
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WOMAN'S ERA / ARTICLES
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| AS VANAPRASTHA VANISHES... |
When grannies look after tots,they do much more than what many office-going mothers realise. |
By Snehlatha Baliga
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| For the aged Ramani, babysitting
her grandchildren is an
8 to 8 job almost like that of
her son and daughter-in-law.
It may even be tougher
considering the demands of
the job and her age!
Innumerable are the
occasions that her neighbours
heard her weep helplessly,
unable to cope with the two
grandchildren — a toddler and a
five-year-old — left in her care till the
parents return from work.
In another instance, Sharada had
a near-fatal accident the other day
when her advancing age, slow
reflexes and the little grandchild
wailing at her knee made her spill the
boiling milk on herself.
Socially-active Gowramma faces
a different problem. “I used to have a
wide circle of friends whom I enjoyed
visiting. Today, I have no contacts
with them, let alone spending time
with them,” laments the woman
whose son and daughter-in-law are
busy techies working in Bangalore,
adding, “Even if I make it to my
friend’s place once in a blue moon,
am always on tenterhooks as I have
to be back to receive the kids when
they get back from school.”
Ramani, Sharada and Gowramma
all belong to that vast category of
elderly that has emerged as an
offshoot of the modern Indian social
phenomenon called the working
woman.
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The elderly might be called upon
to look after the grandchildren as the
sons and daughters-in-law go out to
work or the daughters might leave
the kids at the parental house to be
taken care of while they are away at
work but the effect is the same —
grandparenthood today is far from
telling bedtime stories and playing
with one’s grandchildren. The list of
chores that the grandparents are
entrusted with is a long one from
changing nappies to dealing with
emergencies.
Some take up the responsibilities
of this second parenthood willingly to
pitch in some help for their children
while, for others, it is imposed on
them in return for their upkeep in old
age. Whatever could be the reasons,
the fact remains that vanaprastha
has been vanquished from the land
of its origin.
However, a little care in organising
the house, a little thought in planning
the day and a wee bit of change in
the attitudes of such families could
go a long way in easing the burden
on the elderly in whose care the kids
are left all day long, and creating a
sense of security for all concerned.
We owe this much to our elderly
who, in spite of being in need of care
themselves, take up the responsibility
of the grandchildren. We owe it to our
young ones who are deprived of
motherly attention all day long. And
lastly, we owe it to ourselves if we
are to do justice to our careers and
professions.
Here are a few tips:
Safety and convenience should be
the key words while organising such
a household. These words should
permeate every aspect and area of
running a home, like maintenance of
the medical chest, furniture, kitchen,
children’s dresses, accessories so on
and so forth.
Children and the elderly mean
medicines in the house. Update your
family’s medical chest by throwing
away the expired, not in use or spoilt
medicines. Segregate the paediatric
medicines from those of the old and
keep both out of reach of children.
Glossy strips and colourful labels
with small print are hard on the eyes,
more so for the elderly who might be
called upon to administer them in
your absence. So make your own
labels in bold letters and affix them
on the medicines so that they are
readable. Alternatively make a list of
the medicines frequently and usually
given like those for cold and fever or
tonics mentioning the complaint for
which they are prescribed and enter
them in a chart. Affix identical sticker
bindis against the names in the chart
as well as on the medicines. Letters
or any other symbols too could be
used.
Use your imagination so that the
type and position of your furniture is
baby-friendly and elderly-convenient.
For example, placing cots and beds
against the walls saves the baby from
falling from two or even three sides (if
the whole bed fits between three
walls) so that only one side needs to
be guarded against. Any staircases
should be made inaccessible to
children and babies by installing
gates. Baths and toilets could be kept
locked when not in use with latches
at safe heights on the outside of the
doors, to avoid water-related
accidents. Low-plug points could be
sealed with tapes. All this not only
makes the house risk-free but
reduces the burden on the elderly
while managing the tiny tots.
Landline connections are better
for the elderly who are likely to
misplace the cellphones or are
unable to operate them. Keep the
phone in an easily accessible place
with important numbers written in
bold letters and affixed.
Keep the frequently-used items in
the kitchen — tea, coffee, sugar, etc,
— in unbreakable see-through
containers at suitable heights. Make
extensive use of hot cases, flasks,
etc, so that the main meals could be
cooked before the lady of the house
leaves for work and heating is
avoided. Children have the habit of
following elders into the kitchen and
distracting those who cook.
As regards children’s dresses,
those in circulation in your absence
should be those without buttons,
loose and easy to slip on. A lot of
hassles in dressing the children up is
avoided this way.
Proper planning of the family’s day
keeps the number of times the doorbell
rings to a minimum to ensure
safely and avoid unnecessary
running about on the part of the
elderly. The milkman, the paperboy
and the maidservant are early birds
in most houses. Schedule other
visitors like cable and newspaper bill
collectors, home-deliveries of
groceries, disposal of old
newspapers, and repair works of all
kinds when you are around. After all,
these are once-a-month chores in
most homes.
Try to understand and respect the
elderly. After all, old age is not all
about rheumatic joints, blabbering
and babysitting. Company and
change could infuse new energy and
vigour into their weakening bodies
and minds. Whenever possible,
arrange outings for them. If you
cannot accompany them, hire reliable
conveyance. If friends and
neighbours of their age join in, it
would be better in terms of good
company, security and cost. Similarly,
take charge of the children as soon
as you return from office. It could
mean both, a respite for them and
quality time for you with your
children.
Train children to respect the
elderly and take orders from them.
This will not only instill good values in
them but make their upbringing
easier. The elderly too get a sense
of belonging and being valued in this
way. It is quite proper that small jobs
are allotted to children in keeping
with their age. Toddlers could be
encouraged to put back their toys
(balls and skates have to be replaced
after play to avoid tripping and
falling). Older children could be
asked to pack their school bags, set
the table and fill and replace bottles
in the fridge.
All this could ease the burden of
the elderly to a very great extent.
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