Navigating Jealousy in Your Romantic Relationships: It’s Not All Green Monsters and Paranoid Androids

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Ugh…Jealousy. That sharp pang that hits you when you see your partner laughing with someone else, or hear about their exciting new co-worker.

It’s a normal emotion, but like a delicious spice, too much can ruin the dish and leave you feeling a little…sore…

So, how do we keep jealousy from turning into a relationship monster that is bound to tear you both apart? Here are some tips to navigate those green feelings in a healthy way…

How to Overcome Jealousy in Your Relationship?

So, where does one begin with overcoming jealousy in your relationship? Whether you’re the green monster or your partner is the more jealous type, here are some considerations for you to ponder over:

  • Unpack Your Jealousy: Before you confront your partner (or the barista who winked at them!), first, take a step back. Is this jealousy about your partner, or something deeper? Are you feeling insecure, or worried about past betrayals from previous partners? Reflecting on the root of your jealousy can help you address it effectively. Be open to the fact that you could be (and likely are) overthinking it.
  • The Power of “I”: Instead of accusatory statements (“You always flirt!”), try “I” statements that express your feelings (“I felt uncomfortable when you were talking to that person because…”). This opens a conversation, rather than shutting it down before you’ve even started.
  • Communicate Your Feelings: Talk to your partner! Share your feelings openly and honestly. But be specific about what triggered your jealousy and how it made you feel. That’s the way to move forward and work through it together.
  • Trust, But Verify (Lightly): Open communication goes both ways. If you have a specific concern, address it calmly. Don’t turn into a jealous detective; trust, but if something feels off, have a conversation!
  • The Green-Eyed Monster Needs Sleep: Jealousy can often be fuelled by anxiety or stress. Make sure you’re both getting enough sleep and taking care of yourselves.
  • Focus on the Good: Sometimes, jealousy stems from neglecting the positive aspects of your relationship. Plan a special date night, or reminisce about happy memories and find your way back to one another.
  • Building Trust Together: Jealousy can chip away at trust. Here are some ways to rebuild it:
  • Be Reliable: Follow through on your commitments and show your partner you can be counted on when they need you.
  • Maintain Open Communication: Keep an open dialogue about your feelings and experiences.
  • Quality Time: Make time for each other, sharing activities you both enjoy, thus strengthening your bond.
  • Healthy Boundaries: Maybe your partner has a flirty friend who makes you uneasy. It’s okay to have boundaries. Talk to your partner about how you can both feel more comfortable.
  • You Do You: Jealousy can sometimes stem from insecurity. Focus on building yourself up. Pursue your interests, spend time with friends, and remember you’re awesome!

My Partner is Jealous of My Sex Toys. What Do I Do?

The thing about jealousy is…it’s not always a result of other people. In fact, there are many things that people can get jealous over – in particular, sex toys!

Does your partner feel uneasy about you using rechargeable vibrators for solo play? Perhaps they are jealous and feel insecure about themselves as a result. Whatever the case, it can put a lot of strain on even the healthiest of relationships. So, what can you do?

The first step is to, again, have an open dialogue and try to get to the root of their jealousy. Do they feel as though they are unattractive to you? Or perhaps that they are not satisfying you in the bedroom?

The more you talk about these things, the easier it will be to normalise them.

Another alternative is to consider introducing sex toys in the bedroom and sharing them together!

Conclusion

Remember, a healthy relationship is built on trust, communication, and mutual respect. By working together, you can navigate jealousy and keep your love strong and secure!

Have faith in your partner. Unless they have done something to damage your trust, they deserve to be afforded the benefit of the doubt. Not every casual flirt with the store clerk is a clear sign of infidelity. Sometimes, people are just a little more flirtatious than others and it is largely benign…

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