Newlyweds – Paddle in the same direction

For newlyweds, marriage seems to be bliss. Everything is very rosy and picture perfect. However, with the passage of time, responsibilities and duties curb the ‘magic’ of the relationship and the picture gets a little blurred. The couple feels that the essence of the relationship has gone. However, this is not true. Marriage is all about sharing, caring and loving. You should understand that no two people are same and both the partners need to make adjustments, in order to lead a happy and contended life.

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People naturally settle into married life after an eventful year of wedding celebrations, but while couples refocus on their careers and create new priorities, it can feel as though their relationship has fallen to the back burner. Be wary of this shift in dynamic! This sense of comfort can quickly turn into laziness in love. Couples should put just as much effort into their marriage as they did when they were just dating. The term “date your mate,” exists for a reason!

Some tips for newlyweds, which will help them understand each other as well as the relationship in a better way.

 Life is not a bed of roses-You might have heard this phrase a lot of times. For the newlyweds, life seems to be very blissfully pleasant. However, remember that it will not always be like this. Life is, in fact, very stressful. There are additional responsibilities which come along with marriage. Make sure you always find time for each other. Doing small things together, like cooking, will help you come closer to each other.

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Be open about things- While marriage brings along with it many duties, there are also some compromises which automatically come up. You should always be open to suggestions, adjustments and experiencing new things. Life is not always the same. You might have to compromise on a lot of things, but feel assured in the fact that you are doing this for a happy future together.

Be your own self- It is very important to be what you actually are and behave the same way. Do not rely on others to instruct you how to lead your married life. Your spouse is your life partner. You need not hide anything from him/her or present yourself as something that you are not. There are many people who are in habit of instructing others about what to expect from marriage or how to be a good husband/wife. Shun all such advices. Be your own self and let your partner love you for what you are.

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 Make it special for your spouse- It is very important to retain the freshness and the ‘feeling special’ emotion after marriage as well. Do something special for your spouse. Out of the blue, cook delicacies that both of you love to have and enjoy a candle-lit dinner. Make sure to give romantic surprises to each other, every now and then, as it helps to maintain the charm of the relationship.

Dispose ‘ifs n buts’ from life-Do not stick to ‘ifs n buts’ in life. You should learn from your past mistakes and move ahead. Life is too short to waste it on pondering about how things would have been, if you would or would not have done something. Rather, you should concentrate on understanding how to tackle how to handle situations in the future. Don’t linger with what did not happen, instead focus what is going to take place.

Give attention- To have a happy, successful marriage in the long-term, aim for a daily dose of undivided attention, physical affection, such as hugging and kissing, and verbal praise, such as complimenting your partner. Couples can also make the most of these moments by practicing gratitude for each other, which has been shown to increase relationship satisfaction and feelings of love.

Try expressing appreciation for one thoughtful thing your partner did for you that day. Maybe it was a simple, “I miss you” text during the workday, or a home cooked meal. Creating a daily routine around gratitude will quickly become a favorite time of the day where you feel more connected and intimate.

Paddle in the same direction-Focus on being better, not being right. Most marriages go through an adjustment period the first year, especially if you haven’t lived together before. Many couples get caught up in who is at “fault” when problems arise and lose sight of the shared goal of creating a long happy life together. That takes collaboration and a willingness to let go of being “right.” Paddle in the same direction. Marriage is like being in a rowboat with your spouse. If you are not paddling in the same direction as your spouse your marriage is bound to just go in circles. It is not always clear which way our spouse is paddling. That requires open dialogue and communication. So, check in with one another from time to time.

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