Infidelity and cheating is so not acceptable but what is even more unacceptable is when someone makes shitty excuses. No cheating is not right and if you are a guy who just thought that this is yet another one of those articles that talk about virtue, then you are wrong. A lot goes on in a guy’s mind when he decides to cheat and this guy can come up with some of the most fascinating answers or ‘excuses’, ever. Here is a list of some of the reasons that boys have stated for their ‘cheating behavior’. (The reasons listed are real life explanations by men that and are based on a therapist’s experience.)
1) Selfishness– Let us start with the worst of the reasons. Even though there might be a lot going on in a man’s life, one reason of cheating can be purely a self-centered reason. The man wants to satisfy himself and himself alone. The consequences don’t matter as long as he is not the one getting hurt.
2) Extravagant demands– Maybe the man is seeking too much from his partner in terms of time and aesthetics. Many people have said that they cheated because their spouse or partner was not beautiful, fair, had grown fat or smelled bad. Well that is how people are! We are supposed to change with time. Another extravagant demand can be; the partner’s time. The man might want his partner to be at his beck and call 24/7 and pay attention to each and every whim of his. When this is not met, he decides to shift territory.
3) Revenge– The worst way to hurt someone in a relationship is to make them feel that they are not as special as they thought they were. Many men cheat due to this. they are either trying to take revenge on their partner for something that the partner has done or simply because their partner is not able to understand what the man wants. This is a type of cheating which is meant to be known to hurt the partner.
4) Past trauma– Everyone has at least one aspect of their past which is shredded in darkness. Maybe the man used to be subjected to verbal, physical or mental abuse and this has transformed him into a man who is afraid to stick too long on the same boat. Also, he might be trying to sooth his past pains by doing whatever he feels like, randomly.
5) Immaturity– (One of the most irritating reasons according to me) There are actually many men out there who say things like “I am not doing anything different from my friends so what is the problem?”. Seriously? That is your answer. Well it is not completely their fault if they were not able to grow up into mature adults. They have no sense of what will be the consequences of their actions. They thing “It is only natural for men to cheat”.
6) Increased sexual feelings or drugs– Many the man has sex addiction and his partner cannot be available all the time just to have sex so he decides to look for it elsewhere. Or maybe, the man indulges a lot in drugs and so he might not even be realizing what is happening when he gets ready to cheat.
7) Insecurities- Maybe the man has doubts regarding himself and to soothe out his ego, he tries to build up his confidence with the number of people whom he can chat up romantically or get laid in bed. Another type of insecurity might be that maybe the relationship is on the verge of breaking and he wants to make sure he has a partner ready before parting with the current one. (This seems closer to immaturity but well, this is a type of insecurity).
The problem with these men is that they don’t even try to find a different solution to their problems. They feel that cheating was the only stress buster they could use and even think that not having sex should be counted as not cheating, “Just going to a bar to get close to a bar dancer is not cheating”. These men need to know that there are many alternatives to cheating; finding a hobby, joining club activities or simply discussing the matter with their partner. Everything can help. But that is only if the man or his partner know the reason for his cheating.