Why are we afraid of staying single?

Does the thought scare you? I know so many people who are afraid of being single, so afraid that they prefer a damaged relationship more than having nothing. This is not an article that applies to everyone. This is for those people who are desperately trying to nurture dead relations.

Let me give you an example to explain what I mean. This is a story from when I used to go to college.

Afraid-to-be-Alone

‘I know a girl (she is my friend) who once used to be in a pretty tiring relation. They had a long-distance relationship and even though the girl did her best to make up for the time that they would not be together, the guy was a total jerk who never even used to ask her about how her day was. The conversations were always about the guy’s life and problems. She once travelled to the guy’s place to specially give him a surprise on his birthday (which he did not appreciate as such) and he forgot to even wish the girl on her birthday! (I mean I feel that is a big deal).

I, on the other hand, cared for my friend and kept telling to break up with him since the day we became friends. But all words were wasted on her till. One day she made friends with another guy (this friend of mine rarely used to speak to guys she was fixed on her bf) and they became really good friends. Her bf misunderstood their friends and pretty mush abused her for no reason which finally led to a big fight and break. (coincidently she got together with this new friend and they are as happy as happy can be).’

 

Now I am not saying here that this girl was desperate for a guy. No, that was not the case. But I did tell her that the only thing that was tying her to that weird ex was addiction. Addiction to the texting, to the sweet talks and to a fantasy that is actually far from what was wanted. Once you enter a relation, it doesn’t mean that your partner cannot have a change of heart or nature. People change. We live in a society, meet new people, handle our jobs and hobbies and make time for our friends. It is not weird for a person to change while going through life. Now either we can accept this change or point it out or in extreme cases, break up, for the person you were dating is not the same anymore.

But the question is, why don’t we?

Why don’t we break up the way we get together?

If you got together after knowing each other for a long time and with serious plans of the future unknown, then break is obviously difficult. But what about all the people out there who start dating on a whim?

This is where the problem lies. People go out for many reasons; sex, experience, to brag and to maybe beat loneliness. But if you don’t pay attention to why you are accepting someone’s proposal, you will never understand why it is so hard to break up. So, since you never gave much thought to why you started dating, you end up thinking of your partner more than you should.

The answer to all problems are actually the same. We are scared. The human race is so scared of not fitting into the society. The moment we see a chance, we pounce on our partner in an attempt to fit in. These people can’t see the reality as it is. They would do anything to avoid being single and even try their best to continue abusive and dead relations.

Don’t so this. Don’t do this to yourself or your partner. Being single does not mean that you are different from the society or specifically lonely. We are all lonely and it is important to find the right partner instead of settling down with just about anything, for the sake of texting and bragging. Think and decide wisely who you want in your life. Break ups hurt irrespective of the nature of a relation but they hurt more if you are blinded by fear.

Take calm and confident decisions which will be good for both of you and the people around you. Don’t get taken over by the fear of being single for it is the singles who are free to flirt.

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