#8463: Plz suggest me wat should i do now coz i dnt hv enough tym..

Its a long story.. Patience Ho to hi read kr k suggest karna.. Female:26 Mai banking aspirant hun kai bar clear ki bs kuch marks se reh gyi.. 5 yr k prepaeation k bich maine pgdm correspondence se kra..us bich mere schlmate se baat v hona start hua jo ki bd me best frnd bn gya ab v h.. Use pyar ho gya mujhse bt mai hmesha career k piche to mujhe pyar wyar ni smjh aaya kv so i was clear about it ki mujhe arrange mrg hi krni h so i will not fall in love with anyone chahe jo jitna v bol lo..Wo hmesha se 5 yrs me hr tym sth rha we never met after schl. only hr ek baat share sukh dukh jo v hi hr ek chiz..He always motivated me.. tum kar skti ho.. So itne failure k bd ab shadi k liye v rishte aane lge so rishta fix hua nov 2019 me..koi engagement ni hui h av tk bt sbne kaha baat shuru kr do would be se..Ye baat frnd ko maine btaya tha usne sirf ye kaha kya tumhe shadi karni thi? maine kaha ye to hona hi tha na to bs wo chup.. To would be se baat krne k bd pta chla wo bhtt accha h sb kuch bt uski meri thinking asmaan zamin ka fark..Isi bich mujhe ek sapna aya tha ki mera frnd bhtt jyada pain me h to mai uth gyi bt usse baat bnd tha bhtt hi km to aisi ek week bbtt mushkil se gujra kynki mujhe feel hi ra tha usko mere se baat krni h ya kuch aisa to maine text kr diya tum thk ho usne bola haa tumko aj kaise yd aa gya to bs maine baat ghuma diya coz usse maine aj tk sahi se baat bht km kiya hmesha gussa hi hui hun usse..Udhar mujhe pta chla would be ki study mujhse kam h wo gaon me hi rhenge future me.. to mai sochi adjust kr lungi..bt fir bhtt br baat se pta chla bht ego prblm h..Bhtt rare hi baat hoti thi aur mujhe bilkul mann ni krta tha jo is trh k ho mujhe apne frnd se baat krna tha pta ni would se ek min tk baat krna v ek hr jaisa lgta tha paar hi ni hota tha tym aur uss frnd se 1_3 hr jst within sec nikl jate the..Pta ni jb mujhe uska yd aata yska turant text aur ysko jb jrurt rhta hmko pta chl jata h..bt in sbko side me rkh k kynki rishta fix h to kuch ni ho skta ab mujhe hi late se feelimg ayi sari..fir mom ka tbyt khrab hua maine would be se kaha baat ni kr sktr av usne aur msg ni kiya tbse bnd h to maine v ni kiya.. kynki usnr ek br v puccha ni us din se ki mom kaisi h.. then mere frnd ka tbyt khrab hua aur mujhe lga mai kis trh uski help kru thk kru use kynki ek chhota sa chot v lge to mujjse ni hoga tolerate wo mujhe ab smjh aaya jb sb ye sari situations aayi jb mai usse dur hone lgi tb sari feeling khud se aabe lgi.. Din rt i just pray mera frnd thk ho jaye jldi instead would be se baat krne ke..ye sb kya ho raha mujhe smjh hi ni aa ra.. Lockdown k wjh se hi delay hui sari engagement shadi sare programs plus mujhe isi bich ye sari feelings v.. Aur ab pta chl ra mere parents ko v ni psnd h ye rishta bs relative k force krnr pe haa bole the kynki bhtt age ho gyi meri.. Mujhe kya karna chahiye ab.. jisse rihta lgta h usi se shadi kar lu ya mai apna career pe dhyan dun coz itna mehnat k bd gov xam dena chhor dun isse mujhe satisfaction kv ni milega lyf me.. Plz suggest me wat should i do now coz i dnt hv enough tym..