To have a crush on someone is normal. And marriage does not put a brake on it. But for you as a wife, it is very heartbreaking to know that your husband who lives with you physically is mentally getting attached to your close friend who is also special to you. Feeling neglected by your husband can put stress on your relationship. Before this crush turns to infidelity take some stern steps. But first, find out what’s going in your husband’s mind. It is not easy to hit upon the signs as you may completely ignore them or take them casually.
Wants to know more: Your husband will try to extract more details about your friend in his conversation with you like her likes and dislikes, her hobbies, her family and her relationship with her husband or boyfriend. He will mention her name often and even compare you with your friend. You may also find your husband reading your chat conversation with your friend and checking her on social media.
Excuse to meet her: Is your husband pressurizing you to call her home often or plan a get-together? Does he offer to drop you at her place or pick you up from the party where your friend is also present? Does he make sure that your friend is coming to the party he is hosting? If you find this unusual behaviour then get alarmed.
Grooms himself: He will put in more effort to look pleasing and attractive. He will be well-groomed before meeting your friend. He may ask you to comment on his looks to get an opinion. He may start exercising and take an interest in an activity that your friend is fond of.
Defends her: In case you are having any problem with your friend he finds fault in you instead of taking your side and gets defensive towards her. He will ask you to mend your friendship. He will be extra good and helpful to her. He will not only pay attention to what she is wearing like her earring, hair, attire, nails, eyes, lips, figure, smile, skills, that everything about her.
Loose behavior: When your husband is mentally ready to take his attraction a step forward he will take the liberty to appreciate her in your presence to judge your reaction. He will flirt with her to develop her interest in him. He may stand or sit too close to her. He will talk to her more and make sure she is comfortable. He will take out time to help her out on the pretext that she is your friend. He will try to put his hand on her arms, back while in conversation or dancing more often. He will not be as passionate with you as he was before, for he is already fantasizing about your friend.
By Jyoti Galada