Afraid Of Sex? Get Over Your Fear; Knowing Vaginismus, The Common Female Sexual Disorder

Healthy sex can make you feel fresh and stressed out. With cheesy talks, foreplays, cuddles, hugs, kisses, and smooches, sex becomes even more wonderful. That means not every sex needs to end up with ejaculation. But, yes the role of penetration in making the intercourse complete cannot be underestimated. It offers immense pleasure to both parties. But what if a woman is afraid of penetration?

You may be wondering if that ever happens. Trust me because I have myself heard that for many women, sex is a source of fear. Specifically, most of them shudder at the thought of penetration. And this is considered to be a psychological disorder termed ‘Vaginismus’. So what exactly is Vaginismus, why it happens and how can someone overcome it?

As mentioned above, Vaginismus is a little serious psychological disorder and a physical problem. This fear of penetration comes unintentionally and ruins your good time in bed. Starting from the brain to other parts of your body and slowly moving to your vaginal muscles, makes sex a horrible experience for you. But, stay calm because you’re not alone fighting this. And, this condition is totally treatable.

Vaginismus occurs involuntarily in both married and unmarried women. One cannot get over it all of a sudden. With proper counseling, open talks, physical workouts, and follow-ups, anyone with this sexual disorder can be cured successfully.

It was learned that the fear towards penetration developed mainly because of the fear of breaking the hymen. Girls in our society from a very young age are taught not to break the ‘virginity shield’ inside the vagina. This somehow instills fear in their minds not to have sexual pleasure before marriage. And also it creates fear of the pain that can come by the breakage of the hymen.

What helps women in this regard is an awareness of what their hymen is. Educate them at least to know that a hymen is a small, thin and elastic membrane covering the vaginal entrance. Most importantly women should also be made aware that it can break without them having sex. And women should bravely believe and say that virginity is nothing, but a myth.

So now again on to Vaginismus. Women who are engaged in activities like cycling, athletic, dancing, etc. might already have their hymen broken. Others will have a small pain in their first intercourse. Sometimes for those who have their hymenal tissue largely worn away by adolescence can also experience pain during their first sex. This is all normal. But the anxiety of pain from your first sex is not normal.

What do you need then? After getting aware of the general anatomy and exploring your own body, prepare your mind to deal with the little pain and the big pleasure awaiting you. In Vaginismus, fear can make your vaginal muscles tighten and contract. It occurs as a result of the involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor, especially the pubococcygeus muscles.

This makes penetration really hard for you and your partner, causing more pain. Not only that, the intense pain from first intercourse would make you hesitant towards having it again. Just think of how badly it would leave your sex incomplete?

But as said before, no worries women. Kegel exercises can help you to manage your fear and it would increase your physical flexibility. This will relax your muscles and mind. What works in the Kegel exercise is an approach called progressive desensitization. It will make you comfortable with insertion.

How can you do it?

First of all, keep in mind that the more you do it, the more you benefit. If you do the exercise regularly, it would help you much. To begin with, you should squeeze the muscles you use to stop the flow of urine when urinating. Then after squeezing, hold it for 2 to 10 seconds. Relax the muscles. Do the same for 20 reps at a time.

Another thing is that there is no specific position to do this exercise. You can do them as many times by standing, spreading legs, or sitting with lifted legs. Plus, if you want you can opt for sex toys like a vaginal dilator. If the thought of using them triggers you, better use your fingers. Last but not the least, take your own time to sort it out and do not blame yourself for the fear.

I hope you, those brave women around the world would overcome Vaginismus. You’re gonna have a wonderful sex life. Good luck!

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