When my marriage was on the brink of divorce, I tried going to a marriage counselor, but that didn’t get my marriage in any better shape. It didn’t make my husband show interest in me like I wanted him to, I wanted him to realize my worth and how important it is for us to think about our future. We sat down and talk for hours about what went wrong in all these years, we were just one such amazing couple but then slowly-slowly we started having fights over small things and It certainly started affecting our sex life as well.
In my desperation, I also read dozens of articles about how to be successful in marriage. Sometimes I couldn’t relate to the author at all. Or I would move up and down as I read, but still have no idea how to fix those problems that we as a couple was facing. I had never thought that I had anything to do with my failing marriage. Not once! I thought my husband is to be blamed for our failing marriage. After all, I had a good job, and I was an excellent mother and so did my husband as he worked as a manager in a bank, he never forgot to bring gifts for me on any occasion.
I was faithful and loving and thought I was doing everything a wife should do. What I didn’t realize until I read this one article online about, ‘Signs of a controlling wife’ and suddenly I started to relate with the article because I am a control freak, nagging and critical wife who often rejected gifts, compliments, and help, and then complained about not getting anything! My husband couldn’t do anything right in my eyes.
No wonder he preferred watching TV and playing with our kids and spending time with me. When I read the article, I finally felt for the first time that someone else understood me, and even knew my secrets. It gave me hope that I could save my marriage. I wanted help learning how-to, and I without needing to ask knew I couldn’t do it alone. I decided to quit my therapist and call my husband over dinner and there we sat for hours, talking about how we can sort the problems and I made him a promise to stop controlling everything and let things happen naturally. At the beginning of my compromise journey, I’d forget to be respectful and end up causing a big fight. I’d tell my husband how to dress up or correct his way of disciplining life, and realize what I’d done only after I felt the chilling effect.
These days I don’t have to think about it much. My habits lead me along in a way that helps me create lots of connections and fun at my house. I realized that if I could turn my miserable marriage around in the direction of fun, happy and intimate, any woman could.