Parenting is like walking a tightrope which offers many instances where you find yourself torn between the answer that comes to you in the heat of the moment, and the answer you know is better.
- How do you raise your children consciously so that they grow up to be healthy in body, mind, and spirit?
- How do you manage to stay calm, when your child throws temper tantrums?
- How do you connect with your children as they are?
If you are trying to find answers to these questions, then conscious parenting is the answer.
What Is Conscious Parenting?
Conscious parenting is about connecting with your children at a deeper level and nurturing their essence by being mindful in all your interactions with your child. Its about seeing your children as they are, accepting them who they are, their spirit, their soul.
Even before our child was born we expected our imaginary child to be the baby would cuddle, snuggle and sleep through the night. But the real baby was way different. So feeling devastated some of you might have felt frustrated, sleep-deprived, yelled alone, cried in the washroom, your body doesn’t look the same anymore, looked at other parents and felt like a failure in parenting.
Why do we get upset if:-
– Infant who lives in the moment, throws up on your favourite dress, doesn’t care if you are running late for a party?
-Toddler who is interested in continuing playing with toys and chooses not to clean up upon you asking him/her to do so?
-15 year girl going through hormonal changes, concerned about her social image, enters home upset bangs the door onto your face and you yell at her for disrespecting and further going down the guilt journey being a failure in parenting?
Vice-Chairperson, Rayz International Preschool
Advisory Council Member- W.E.F(Women Economic Forum)
Noida Chairperson For Education- A.L.L(All Ladies League)
So what went wrong?
We have unconsciously transferred expectations onto our child. Onto our children comes all our past baggage, our desires, our wishes for our own ideal self to be manifested, that we couldn’t but we make our children do that, so in this process on imposing the ego, the child loses its authentic self. The child loves his parents and doesn’t even know that it is happening, in this process year after year the child becomes increasingly more disconnected from their authentic voice and then you have an adult who is lost, directionless, purposeless not able to access his inner self.
And this is what conscious parenting is all about. Raising a happy child requires making conscious parenting choices and spending quality time with your child. This is because a good early childhood lays the foundation for a confident and successful adulthood.
How can you be a Conscious parent?
- They are not here to control: Your relationships are not here to control. They are here to teach and serve our evolution. The child is not yours to hold onto. You are just helping them grow to fulfill their potential; so don’t be sage on the stage by guide on the side.
- Remember they are pure love: All of us like to be loved, so do children. Love provides them a safety net, makes them feel confident, and secure. Children are perceptive to the emotions of the parents, so any negative feeling that you project can scare or confuse them.
- Treat them like an adult: Let them discover them and as parent just facilitate them. Your children cannot fulfill your goals. You cannot use them to reach what you haven’t. They will have their personal goals and aspirations.
- Create a positive environment: Create an environment that is positive, encouraging, and safe for them to explore and learn. Any negative element in the environment can affect them, leading to inhibitions or phobias.
Remember we have chosen each other. Your child has chosen you and you have chosen your child. It’s easy to remember that when everything is peachy, but when we are in the pit of darkness, us funny forgetful humans tend to forget it. We are so quick to judge, point and blame everyone else. We are so speedy at forgetting that our souls have chosen each other in this lifetime to learn whatever it is we came here to learn. It is easy to shout at the child or impose your views on them. But it is difficult to be a parent who is matured enough to value their child’s opinion and respect their views.