How to deal with difficult people

No matter where we go, we will face people who are negative, people who oppose our ideas. As a result we react and attack back to defend ourselves, which makes situations and relations more aggravate. So what is the best way to deal with the difficult persons? The answer could be as simple as this, ‘don’t let it bother to you to begin with.’ It wasn’t always this simple, and took me some time before overcoming this natural urgency to protect oneself and attack back. If it was easy, there wouldn’t be difficult or negative people to begin with.

Confrontational couple. Furious young man and woman shouting at each other and gesturing while sitting on the couch

Difficult situations are part of everyone’s life. Employers and employees can’t get along. Partners clash over money. Spouses cannot resolve disagreements. A bully at your work is difficult for you to face. Your neighbours are constantly fighting. Your father is unhappy about your career choice.

Don’t think that by ignoring such situations, things will take a smooth shape or turn in your way.  Employees get fired, partnerships and marriages break up, everyone is miserable. Worrying and waiting for the right time to come for some solution, can never resolve the problem. Only you stress yourself and sulk without reaching to any conclusion. Cutting off from the problem or from the person is not a practical solution. Losing employees, supporters and friends because you needlessly disassociate from them may reduce your stress, but you might also become lonely.

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Allow them to express

People are as entitled to their opinions as you are. Allow them to express how they feel and let it be. Remember that it’s all relative and a matter of perspective. What we consider positive can be perceived by another as negative. When we react, it becomes me-versus-you, who is right? Some people may have a less than communicative way of expressing themselves – it may even be offensive, but they are still entitled to do so. They have the right to express their own opinions and we have the right and will power to choose our responses. We have to decide that what we want to choose, peace or constant conflict.

Don’t try to change the other person when you encountered with a difficult person, otherwise you will only get into a power struggle, cause defensiveness, invite criticism, or otherwise make things worse. It also makes you a more difficult person to deal with. Try to look for the positive points of others and instead of criticizing their negative aspects, focus on positive aspects. The other person will feel more appreciated, and you will likely enjoy your time together more.

Requires different approach

We all have to deal with difficult people in our lives on a regular basis. We have to work with co-workers who are irritable and aggressive. We have to deal with such adults or teenagers who are not happy with the restrictions in their life, who hates limitations set for them and who are difficult because of this reason only. We have to deal with spouses and friends who react emotionally to situations and cause difficulty because of that. Handling each of these different situations requires a different perspective which depends on your relationship with the person and the attitude of that person about the life. Anytime that you’re dealing with the same difficult people again and again, you can begin to notice signs and patterns that indicate that a difficult time is coming. This way you can deal with situation in a better way and prepare yourself. Most important is to remember in dealing with all negative people is that it’s necessary to respect everyone’s right to be who they are. Treat them in a courteous manner even when you don’t feel like it. Eventually they will likely return this respect.

Tips to deal with difficult people

Forgive- This is the best way to come out of the situation. It seems hard, but is it not the better way to keep yourself in peace instead of getting hurt or making your life miserable? Many of us hang on to grudges towards the people that have been difficult in the past. This makes it hard to move on to a better relationship with them in the future. Learn to forgive.

Don’t react – Sometimes you feel compelled to instantly send an email or call defending yourself. But emotionally charged emails or calls never get us the result we want; they only add oil to the fire. Give time to allow yourselves to cool off. Wait until you’ve cooled off before responding. Don’t react otherwise they will win.

Remove negative people from your life – Negative people can be a source of energy drain. Throw them off from your life. Keep away from them by avoiding interactions with them as much as possible.

Stick to the points-Whenever you have to discuss something with a difficult coworker, write down three to five main points, and stick to them. Even if they get off the subject and start saying nasty things, always come back to your main points. That way, you avoid getting involved in an argument.

Stay open-minded-When someone criticizes you — regardless of how you feel about them — take the opportunity to be responsive and consider how you could improve. It’s actually an opportunity for growth!

 

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