Unlike other people, you can’t date or live under the same roof for weeks and months to get to know each other for the purpose of marriage. From an Islamic point of view, these acts are haram.

Another thing is the population of Muslims in any western countries. You’ll be very lucky if you have a Muslim colleague in your workplace. So, finding someone from the opposite gender around you is difficult.

If you are a single Muslim, and facing difficulties while looking for a spouse, this article will make things a lot easier, and give you a general guideline on this matter.

Challenges to Find a Muslim Spouse 

• Family Background and Culture

In Muslim families, it’s quite common to notice that they want to marry their sons and daughters to families that match their family background and cultural. And this has both advantages and disadvantages.

Advantages are that post marriage adjustment between two families and most importantly for the wife becomes much easier.

One of the disadvantages is – parents reject a lot of proposals if they think that the opposite party does not meet their family background and culture.

• Education

Muslim families these days expect their daughter in law or son in law to have a sound education background and qualification. A lot of the time it happens that the boy and girl are not equal when it comes to educational qualifications. Although there are only a few families that consider it to be an important aspect.

Not meeting the minimum educational qualification may create issues approaching proposals.

• Age

It is hard for girls to get married when they pass 25-26 years of age. Especially if it is an arranged marriage, it becomes really difficult to convince a family to accept even her bio data for marriage. 

• Career

Muslim families usually expect their daughter in law to stay in the house being a housewife or homemaker. And there is nothing wrong in it considering how difficult it is to maintain a job wearing proper hijab and Islamic teachings.

But for women who pursue their career and give it an utmost importance, for them, finding a sound family who will accept her holding a job, would be more difficult than usual.

• Religious Determination

Not all people are equally religious and committed to their faith and values. It happens a lot that there is nothing wrong with the family, background, education, and all, but the religiousness does not sound proper. 

If you are religiously committed, make it easier by narrowing down your filtration, and see if the person lacks anything when it comes to fard acts or mandatory acts or worship – like praying 5 times a day, having full beard, proper hijab and niqab, etc.

• Financial Status

Similar to the family background, meeting financial status is a must for families in the society. If you belong to a middle class family, but you marry a girl who belongs to a rich and well-off family, she might not feel comfortable with your lifestyle and similar stuff.

So, do not go beyond your financial status. Marry the person who is equal or have less financial stability than yours.

Why Muslims Don’t Go with Dating Approach

See, if you are to date someone, you will have to face that person. There will be talks, laughs, and a lot of unnecessary talks between you two. And according to a hadith, if a man and woman meet or talk in private, the third person is the satan himself. 

And there will be violation of the actual hijab itself, and obviously, the hijab of speaking will be compromised too. Women are not allowed to talk softly with a non-mahram.

So, there are lots of haram involved going with the typical western approach of marriage, which we are referring to as dating.

If your first approach towards marriage is haram, what good and blessing can you expect to get from it?

Makes sense right? To enjoy a blessed and happy married life, you gotta make sure you guys are not displeasing the Lord, the most high.

Dating apps will come under the same matter as people mostly look for partners to meet, have face to face conversations, have sex, live together before they get married.

Possible Media for Finding a Spouse

Even though you do not get to know a lot of Muslims in your day to day life in the west, still there are ways you can try to find a spouse.

• Relatives

This is the most traditional way of finding a spouse. Ask your relatives to find you someone. Also, you might find someone from them as well. It does not have to be from your close relatives only, you can approach relatives that you might know.

• Well-Wishers

Your friends, colleagues, teachers, etc. will come under this group. You should clearly announce or give them some indication that you are looking for a spouse to get married. Keeping this in mind, whenever they come across someone worthy of you, they will inform you about him/her.

• Matrimony 

There are several muslim marriage site that deal with Muslim matchmaking. But, before you approach one, learn every detail about that site – how they are going to showcase your bio/profile, how you can get access to others’ profiles, etc. If you have any privacy concerns, make it very clear to them.

If you are a practicing Muslim, you should be more careful about choosing an online matchmaking site. Mostly, these sites do know everything about their clients’ religious views. 

If this is something that matters to you, you can approach Noble Marriage. They primarily deal with practicing Muslims who are committed to their religious obligations and duties.

• Local Muslim Community

In the west, local Muslim communities are very concerned about people who are going to get married, and looking for their partners. If you belong to a community like this, you are a lucky person. 

You may find a few individuals who deal with matchmaking service, go to them, and give your bio data, and tell them everything about what type of spouse you are looking for.

Make Dua to Get Married

In your pre-marriage journey, dua is your prime weapon. The devoting and committed you will be to your prayers and supplications, most likely, you will find a good spouse. But, you will have to be good for your spouse in the first place.

If you come across any proposal, make istikhara first, and talk to people whom you find the most wise, and ask their opinion on that proposal. If everything goes right, you should proceed further.

To Conclude

Even though it is quite challenging to Muslim singles to find a spouse who shares the same religious values and views, it is not impossible at all. After all, practicing people are getting married, and the same thing will happen for you. So, you should not overwhelmingly worry about it.