The Importance Of Emotional Proximity In Times Of Social Distancing

BY:  Shalini Bhardwaj.

We, humans, are innately social creatures, and just like hunger and thirst remaining socially connected is our biological need. Social interactions not only enhance our sense of self but are also important for our overall health and wellbeing.

 Today, as the imperative need for social distancing has put a pause on normal socialising activities and physical distancing continues to be an important way to protect ourselves and those around us how do we create the condition for social interaction?

A psychiatrist Dr Carolyn Boulos says “The importance of staying safe has to be balanced with the very real health risks that can be caused by loneliness. During this time, it is imperative that we do not disconnect with one another. In fact, it is critical now than ever to virtually come together. “

So, here is how we can nurture relationships gracefully and maintain connections in safe ways during this extraordinary time-

Cherish your connections using technology –

One of the best uses of technology is that it brings people closer irrespective of physical distance between them. By using latest technology we can actually have some cherishable experiences. Some activities, when done together help in bonding and release endorphins, the brain chemicals that contribute to happiness like making music and playing games or watching movies. In a time when physical proximity is not allowed, we can still undertake many of these activities together through various online means. Have a game night with friends using skype, face time or google hangouts and if you are a movie fan, sizzle some popcorn and host a virtual watch party. Even elements of sports, like competition and exercise can be done collectively but separately using video chat applications.

In recent days, the move to online working has brought a new trend of together alone. By being online together at the same time, two colleagues or friends can make their work more enjoyable and less tedious. In an unprecedented time like this, together alone experiences have been found beneficial to human experience. Try to organise group activities like knitting or cooking over video chat or join online classes to learn virtual yoga or a new language.

Social media, when used wisely, is best for remaining connected to our near and dear ones. Consider scheduling regular dates and times with family and friends for video calls. It is said that every cloud has a silver lining and in this exceptional time of online schooling and work from home, focus on strengthening relationships with those around you. Play hide and seek or treasure hunt with your toddler and with a cup of evening tea have a rejuvenating talk with your neighbour from a safe distance over your fence or balcony.

Undeniably, technology can never fully replace the impact of human interaction in person and  meeting in small groups with appropriate physical distancing and wearing a mask can be very different from connecting digitally. So why not? Sometimes use exposure but ensure that it is in small and safe ways. Also when you plan to meet others, try to be respectful to everyone’s comfort level.

We can make a life by what we give-

Charles Dudley warner once said, “It is one of the beautiful compensations of this life that no one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”

The current pandemic is leaving millions of people sick and there are families who are living with the devastating loss of a loved one. People in the most vulnerable situations are hit the hardest by the crisis. Many are unemployed and struggling to make their ends meet. Older adults, especially those with low income have been disproportionately victims of Covid-19.

There is a good chance that some communities around you are looking for help like food banks or homeless shelters. Go through your household goods and see if you have anything that can be donated to people in need. Clean your closets and see if you have any clothes you can give away. Get some items ready and donate to a local charity.

If you have extra money, you might look for national charity too. Do some homework so you’re clear in what ways your money will be used. Be kind, supportive and generous to others in whatever ways you can be. It increases your own sense of purpose and well-being.

Empathy for others can go a long way-

In this unprecedented time when not holding hands and not visiting someone is actually a sign of care, being empathetic and remaining open to human connection is now more important than ever. There are many things you can do to help make a difference in your community that too from the safety of your home. Make a small gesture to someone in need- maybe it means sending your neighbour an encouraging note or reading to a child online. Call your friends and family regularly to check on them.

The current crisis gives us an opportunity to build and nurture new connections, which can be maintained when life returns to normal.  There may be an elderly couple in your area who are more vulnerable to infection than you are and can’t make a trip to a grocery store. Offer to pick up a few things for them the next time you shop for your own groceries. Doing small things for others, especially those who are affected by the pandemic doesn’t have to take much of your time or effort and surprisingly, it helps distract you from your own worries.

These days there is a lot of bad news circulating over social media and news channels like economic downturn, blame game politics and expanding statistics about confirmed cases. Spread positivity by committing yourself to share a little kindness and good news. Compliment your friends, send a kind note to someone you appreciate, or share some feel-good positive news. This will take a few moments of yours but could brighten someone else’s whole day.

Latest research has linked social isolation to higher risk of a variety of physical and mental health problems and these days new realities like temporary unemployment, social isolation and uncertainty about future along with the threat of scary virus is affecting the lives of many in a significant manner. 

              You might find your friend or someone in your family needs an emotional support. Let them know you are available. Video call, chat or message people just to say that you are thinking of them. Just sparing your few minutes to talk to people will make them feel good and less lonely. It is a proven fact that empathetic listening works as a therapy and can offer a much-needed emotional support.

              Today, as we all are going through challenging times, let us take it as an opportunity to build and strengthen our relations. In the present scenario, It is important to find ground where we can engage in meaningful social connections while staying safe and following public health guidelines so that when life returns to normal we don’t find ourselves wandered off too apart from each other. As a very basic level, as we limit ourselves in our safe peripheries, a simple hello and smile goes a long way. So take small initiatives and remain connected so that social distancing doesn’t become emotional distancing.